Revenge of the Family Idiot - part 1 (Horrible Marriages Collection)
There were Stacy, Tracy, Lacey, Casey and Lola, in that order, from first to last. Lola because Lou, the father of the five girls, had prayed this was the last one, and as such, wanted to have a say in naming the closer. He loved the catchy tune on the radio, never realizing what it was about, or who the Lola in the song had been.
Stacy senior, Lou’s wife and mother of five girls, was too tired to argue. Lola it was.
It was Lola who started the trouble. Stacy, Tracey and Lacey had already been married to various local men for a number of years and Casey was dating Luke, a plumber from two towns over, when Lola introduced Grant to the family.
“Oh, he's a handsome one! You’re a handsome one!” Stacy senior passed the looks and the smirks like a card dealer passes bad hands around a card table.
“Mom, stop it, your embarrassing him,” said Lola, quietly.
“Oh no, that's ok,” said Grant, scanning the dining table and the family of young women. “I'm flattered.”
“Casey,” scolded Lacey, “stop staring like that! Jesus, your not twelve! And anyhow, how's Luke? He still your boyfriend?”
Casey rolled her eyes and licked her fork and looked at Lola and then looked at Grant long enough to make anyone who was watching uncomfortable.
It took Grant one week to find his way into Casey’s bed. It took him an extra week to convince Lacey that sex was meaningless and married or not just didn't matter.
“Bowling, shopping, sex, really – if you look at it - what's the difference?”
It didn't have to make sense. Lacey had long been jealous of Lola for being so different, so young, so unbound and so damned nice.
Grant and Lacey didn't even speak. They didn't even really enjoy it. Her husband left the house, Grant came in, they undressed, got busy and then got dressed again and he left. Not a single word. By the time Grant left, Lacey was pregnant.
Bingo.
End of part 1
Stacy senior, Lou’s wife and mother of five girls, was too tired to argue. Lola it was.
It was Lola who started the trouble. Stacy, Tracey and Lacey had already been married to various local men for a number of years and Casey was dating Luke, a plumber from two towns over, when Lola introduced Grant to the family.
“Oh, he's a handsome one! You’re a handsome one!” Stacy senior passed the looks and the smirks like a card dealer passes bad hands around a card table.
“Mom, stop it, your embarrassing him,” said Lola, quietly.
“Oh no, that's ok,” said Grant, scanning the dining table and the family of young women. “I'm flattered.”
“Casey,” scolded Lacey, “stop staring like that! Jesus, your not twelve! And anyhow, how's Luke? He still your boyfriend?”
Casey rolled her eyes and licked her fork and looked at Lola and then looked at Grant long enough to make anyone who was watching uncomfortable.
It took Grant one week to find his way into Casey’s bed. It took him an extra week to convince Lacey that sex was meaningless and married or not just didn't matter.
“Bowling, shopping, sex, really – if you look at it - what's the difference?”
It didn't have to make sense. Lacey had long been jealous of Lola for being so different, so young, so unbound and so damned nice.
Grant and Lacey didn't even speak. They didn't even really enjoy it. Her husband left the house, Grant came in, they undressed, got busy and then got dressed again and he left. Not a single word. By the time Grant left, Lacey was pregnant.
Bingo.
End of part 1
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